How to Handle Child’s Night Wakings and Other Child’s Sleep Problems
At various stages of childhood, children may wake up in the middle of the night and request assistance from their parents to help them go back to sleep. There can be many reasons why a child might wake up during the night, and a sensible and informed approach on the part of parents will do much to reduce or even eliminate any stress that might arise as a result of these occurrences.
The prevalence of unusual night wakings is difficult to calculate without information on the child’s daily routine and an accurate measure of his dietary and emotional stresses. One study found that twenty-five of sixty children (42 percent) had sleep disturbances, as reported by their parents.’ The most common problem was night waking, which (22 percent) of the children experienced, according to their parents. Thirteen percent of the children in this study were reported to resist bedtime, and 7 percent experienced both night waking and bedtime struggles.
Although we can guess that the vast majority of these “problems” were a result of avoidable stresses, misaligned internal clocks, and lack of healthy bedtime rituals, the authors of this study noted that persistent sleep disturbances were significantly related to an increased frequency of stress factors in the environment. Additionally, 20 percent of the mothers at initial interview and 30 percent at three-year follow-up perceived their child’s sleep disturbances as stressful to them and to their family life.
In other words, sleep disturbances probably lead to a vicious cycle, wherein the stress that causes sleep disturbances leads to more stress, which leads to more sleep disturbances, and so forth.
On a similar note, one very troublesome study found that infants who woke up and required parental care during the night were rated as significantly more “difficult” by fathers than by mothers. I think that this study reflects the problem that many fathers in our culture face: a feeling of alienation from parenthood.
Both mothers and fathers may think of night wakings as a sign that their baby is “difficult” if no one has shown them how to bond effectively with their baby Fathers in our culture have traditionally been discouraged from forming supportive, nurturing, emotionally healthy, and mutually beneficial bonds with their children.Thankfully, this is changing.
In general, though, we should remember that a child is more likely to wake up during the night and require assistance if he has been subjected to disruptive substances and influences during the day Whatever the cause, when faced with a night-waking situation, parents need good advice on how to handle it intelligently and compassionately
In approaching night wakings, the first thing I tell parents is that the reason why a child awakens in the night is usually related to the child’s age and stage of emotional development. Consequently the approach that parents take should reflect this fact.
